1. We are Enablers
It’s hard to grasp, I know. We love our children so much and would do anything for them. But, that’s the problem. By supporting them, bailing them out, putting a shelter over their heads and lending them money, we are enabling them to keep using.
2. They May Become Homeless
Many addicts become homeless in their time because they make little to no money and spend whatever money they do have on drugs and alcohol. This is extremely hard to process because by giving them a home to live in, we are enabling them. But without a home, they are homeless and on the streets or couch surfing friends’ houses. But if this is what it takes to help them realize they need help, or to “hit rock bottom” faster, then so be it. This is something you just need to accept, in the most heart wrenching way possible.
3. They are likely to get in trouble
Who else has read the newspaper one morning only to find that you see your son or daughter’s name in the crime section? Addiction does things you would have never imagined, and it tells your brain to do whatever it takes to get another fix. So, you see your son or daughter in the newspaper and you might be furious, embarrassed, frustrated, or ashamed… But that’s all part of being the parents of an addicted kid. It’s the hard truth and you just need to understand addiction is a disease that your kid can’t completely control.
4. They Lie Constantly
“I’m not using.” “I don’t have a problem.” “I’m seeking help.” We’ve all heard it before. And if you haven’t heard it, you probably will at some point. Addicts have a problem with lying. They are manipulative, especially to their parents. It’s hard to trust them because you don’t know what to believe. When they dig themselves so deep, they lie even more. They don’t want to come off as desperate and they don’t want to ask for help, so they lie and pretend everything’s okay.
5. You might not hear from them
If they are so into their addiction, they might try to disconnect from you out of embarrassment. They don’t want you to get involved, they don’t want you to worry, or they just don’t care what you have to say. They might be aware they need help but they aren’t ready to grasp reality yet. There are many reasons why your son or daughter might run from you, ignore your phone calls or move out. Being the parent of an addict is sad because you just want to fix them, but it’s not that easy.
If you are a struggling parent of an addict, you are not alone. If your child is ready for help, we can give you a confidential assessment at 855-737-7363. Don’t wait any longer, the time is now.