Wait a year before you indulge in a romantic partner. You hear that a lot from AA, your sponsor and where you were in recovery. Focusing on your sobriety is so important. You don’t want to add more responsibilities or stress to your life, especially within the first year of sobriety. You’re already going through challenges in recovery. Take life day by day, and after a full year of recovery, you can look around! Looking around, where, though? Is okay to look around in your AA meeting? Is dating in AA okay to do?
There’s no right or wrong answer. There are pros and cons to each, though. Because sure, you can date someone in your group, but if things don’t work out in the end, it could interfere with your recovery.
Pros of Dating in AA
Cons of Dating in AA
Your Date is in Recovery
Having your partner be in recovery is a plus. That means you both can encourage each other and support each other through the challenges phases of sobriety.
Encourage AA Meetings
If your partner is in your group, that means more than likely if one of you go, you’ll both go to the meeting.
Understanding of the Addiction Disease
You’ll both have experience with the emotional rollercoaster that is sobriety. Instead of picking fights about it, you’ll be more empathetic.
There Could be Some Judgement
Sometimes when you’re both in AA, there can be judgments between if you’re doing the 12 steps correctly, if you’re lacking attendance meetings, etc. It can raise issues in the relationship if you take on your sobriety a little different than your partner.
Breaking Up After a Relapse
Another con can be if a partner relapses. What would you do if your partner relapsed? Would you break up with them? Stop supporting them? It’s difficult when you’re in a relationship with someone who ends up relapsing because a lot of the time they end up breaking up and leaving the relapser hangin’ with no support or comfort.
The bottom line is how you feel in your recovery. Do you want to add the challenge of dating someone in your AA meeting? Is that partner worth the risks? How long ago did you two meet in the meeting? You can weigh the pros and cons, but in the end, it’s totally your decision. If you’re feeling really secure in your sobriety, it’s been over a year and you’re ready to jump on the love wagon, go for it. But make completely sure you are comfortable in recovery. The last time you had a sexual partner could have been in your addition. Have you done this sober before?
Being drunk and in love, compared to being sober and in love are very different. And it can be scary and unexpected. But remember to take it day by day. If it’s not worth disrupting your sobriety, that’s okay. If you’re not ready for a partner yet, that’s okay. Don’t feel pressured to have a partner. Your wants, needs, and sobriety are far more important than someone else’s. You do what’s best for you!
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, we want to help. Call us at 855-737-7363 for a confidential assessment. Let us help you as best as we can. We are here for you.