When you think about it, drug codepedency with a significant other sounds kind of romantic, doesn’t it? Two addicts are locked in this intense relationship where both requires the other to function. But take a step back and pick up a reality check: and it’s not romantic at all. Holding onto semblances of a codependent drug-using relationship after you’ve started recovery can seriously jeopardize your new sobriety.
There are two basic scenarios:
(1) You and your S.O willingly decided to get treatment, you are in early sobriety and your S.O still uses.
(2) You willingly decided to get treatment while your S.O decided not to get treatment.
Now, you are living the sober life, going to meetings and clearing out any bad habits, while you’re S.O is still shooting up in the bathroom or popping the pills she told you she threw out. It can be a really sticky situation because you’re wondering what to do; your heart says stay and your mind tells you to leave.
What You Can Do
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Give your S.O an intervention
Find close friends and family and stage an intervention.
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Talk to them about it
If she doesn’t need an intervention, try communicating with her the importance of sobriety. Share your struggles and experience with detox and rehab, and ask if they’d take the leap for recovery.
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Find a common ground
Maybe it’s not that bad; he/she cut back on their usage, maybe it’s just a beer or glass of wine each night. If it’s something you can tolerate, maybe suggest only having a glass when you’re not around.
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Is this person benefiting you in any way?
Is your S.O really trying to get clean? Maybe just needs one more push? Or are they trying to reduce their usage or detox on their own? If you see signs that they are trying to get help, it might be safe to help them with one or two more pushes.
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Hopeless…
If your relationship is unhealthy and it’s not doing any good to your sobriety, it might be time to take a break. Your sobriety should be #1 priority, and if your relationship is interfering with that then it’s best to end it. You need to work on your early recovery and if you’re staying in your old habits with your S.O, you could end up relapsing.